That one moment...

Have you ever had that one moment where you just look in front of you and see a big dark wall, as if everything beyond that was your future but you can't see shit.

That is truly a horrendous feeling to have, it feels that all that you have worked for, and all that you planned, is just a waste of time and energy! That for once in your life, ypu don't expect anything from anyone, even from yourself.

I guess I'm feeling that right now.

No one to talk to, no one wanting to care, no one in your life that truly recognizes that you're in utter pain.

Yes, I am a man that tends to hide these emotions from normal acquantaince, I do not feel that some random people should know how you feel and your most vulnerable moment. So I heard this saying on twitter the other day.

"you've come to the point in life where you don't need a bunch of friends, but you need few loyal friends"

That's where the problem comes from, what I actually need is the ONE that will take my heart away, that ONE person that I can share all the hearts ups and downs. I thought I found you, I thought you were it, but you riped my hearts into pieces.

I have would do anything for you, I would have been the perfect man for you. I have never complained and I have nevet stopped loving you. But it hurts, it hurts when you say no, it hurts when you say we are over.

As words front Adele, just take it all and don't look back at this crumbling fool.

Tablet blogging

I guess i haven't blogged for quite some time now. Well I guess this is a fresh start, for a reason of course.

I had this someone, who was my avid reader or I might say my only reader. She loved the way I wrote and the way I articulate words into letters and texts, and yes, as you have might guessed, is no longer with me. So let me do this, as a gift or perhaps a last ditch effort to remind you about us...

Thank you for 3 wonderful years, and this blog is a testament to my love for you.

Ps: tablet blogging is not that bad

Clean 1.0

Blog walking has been filled with the pure consistency beating an egg to make creme bulee. (Almost) Every person has an opinion about Bersih (codename:Clean), some more supportive, others oppressive. Lets look into the facts.

1) Mainstream Media

From the era of Tunku Abdul Rahman to the notorious Malaysian Balls of Steels Tun Mahathir and now of Mr Najib (not including the honest Pak Lah of course), Malaysians has taken their control of the mainstream media as an open secret. They use this doctrinating tool as a legitimate way to pass government centric views of the governmental policies and strangle their opposition to smithereens.

As reports come flocking by during crunch hour, the facts were simple. Assuming (only) 9000 people amassed in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, no more no less. Protesters that come from mainly the Malay majority went from peaceful to barbaric. Provocations of one party to the other has lead to squirrels that lead to police and FRU intervention, that would result into the usage of salt to reduce the effects of tear gas flown left and right.

At the end of the day, the men in blue would prevail (obviously) with their superior equipments and well planned strategies, 1200 citizens would be caught with demonstration leaders swiftly arrested upon arriving the city centre, and sadly, 16 were children. Politicians argued police force was justified and they acted due to provocation etc etc.

The free media has reported that business in Kuala Lumpur has been shot down by these demos, taxi drivers didn't have any work to do and the common joe was stuck in a traffic jam for at least 4 hours. Crippled economy like the Tahrir Square and the Arab Springs they took parallels of, an used as paradigm to exemplify the demonstrations actions.

Then came Mr Najib and his merry Men, ridiculing the-one-who-should-not-be-named, claiming that UMNO could do better substantially, and the Youth Wing had done a better job than the full entity, and with his mimickery gestures of a Donald Duck, ended the fiasco (at the time of writing).

continuation of part 2

a gulf tragedy perhaps?

Who ever that hasn't been ignorant, watching the TV or browsing online, must know that there is a bit of a crisis in Egypt and Tunisia. What happened you?

People's revolution they call it, a bit of what a party in Malaysia wanted to achieve but failed miserably, but hey, at least there where no riots. (but jalan jem lah)

People's revolution isn't a new term, Thailand recently used it to oust the ruling government (and failed), most African countries tried (yet again failed because new leaders are more corrupted). The fact it, to find a sincere 'Rakyat' leader with no hidden agenda is like finding a needle in a hay stack.

But look, having said that, I do employ that the people have certain rights that they need to voice out. If I was in a major oil producing country that get 1.6B of American aid and at the same time my daily income is less that $2, I would question some people.

Then again, how can it be justified to unleash prisoners? I mean, 'cmon! Prisoners? Rapist and murderers of your family, are you just plain or playing stupid? The sadistically justification may be that they need the monstrous aggression to clash with the cops. Hmm...you'd never know.

Another point of contention is that, why America hasn't reacted yet? I mean, a People's Revolution is meant for a fair and free elections which provide democracy, in which is America's proxy. Obama for one, should have seized the opportunity to intervene rather than staying put. Or maybe, big uncle sam is just afraid to take the wrong side?

Face it, Hosni Mubarak was a puppet for Uncle Sam and when their puppet is broken, they're trying to find a new one, but not just yet, their gonna wait until the very last minute and see whether their puppet has still any use. If the deem not, then here comes the hero to save the day. (like, if they come in now, everything would come to an end)

Hail People's Revolution

(the real one I mean, not the overly flambuyount - wanting to rule the government in 21 days kind)

of sino-malay relations

Some people may recall the incident that altered the way our country has been governed. The so-called unspeakable date in which racial hatred washed its heed upon our streets. You know what I mean.

The fact that, it is 2011, and Malaysia has been prospering for more over 50 years, show that there are still a sense of racial harmony in our state, but to what extent can we gauge our compromise for the other race, or is it only an outer fabrication?

The problem that Mr. Najib has bestowed upon us is to find a medium ground for all the races in Malaysia to correlate and coexist with each other. As a matter of fact, that isn't something new, as Tun Abd Rahman and Tun Mahathir all aspire the same things, albeit with different taglines. Nonetheless, the phrase 1Malaysia is still catchy. Back to the problem, the government want us to be tolerant and understanding. We get that.

But, the thing is, up to certain point, there are still resentments in society that quietly linger amongst Malaysians of different race towards the other. Why? It's only human nature.

Human nature seeds to the fact that there must be a preferential treatment towards someone/something that has the same racial/religious/social background as we do. It's a proven fact. It doesn't mean that someone is a racist.

Example 1, a Malay would rather buy a halal food from a Malay than from a Chinese, this is because, even though they acknowledge that the food is halal, there's a biased judgement that supersedes the quality of the food available, likewise for Chinese and Indians.

In order for Mr. Najib to break the cycle, he has to start from the roots, not only promoting the concept superficially, and selling the slogan so 24-hour retail shops can use it and have a dig at the Selangor State Assembly, but utilize it to generate TRUSTS from each other.

Rather than forgetting East Malaysia (or West?), lets embrace them, and use them as an example on racial relations are partaked in their daily lives. They don't have any discriminatory feelings towards one another, because they are plural society that respects one another beliefs and create no prejudice towards one another. This is because their culture is inter-mixed, Sarawak for example, has Ibans that marry Chinese, or Malays that marry Melanau creating another sub-culture of people that intertwine in both worlds.

Not saying that mix marriage is an essential tool for better understanding. Just earmarking that an intertwined culture and the possibility of a Malay wanting to celebrate Chinese New Year the way a traditional Chinese family would do is scarce, because they are afraid it's un-Malay like (and most probably afraid of Bah Kut Teh).

Happy Chinese New Year my Chinese friends!

(I would love to join a Chinese New Year celebration)

never say never

Some things we don't talk about

Rather do without

Just hold the smile

Falling in and out of love

Ashamed and proud of

Together all the while

You can never say never

Why we don't know when

Time and time again

Younger now then we were before

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Picture you're the queen of everything

Far as the eye can see

Under your command

I will be your guardian

When all is crumbling

Steady your hand

You can never say never

Why we don't know when

Time time time again

Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

We're pulling apart

And coming together again and again

We're growing apart

But we pull it together

Pull it together, together again

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

This song is from THE FRAY's latest album, i think its their 2nd single. Check it out.

Never Say Never- The Fray

Well, I think this song is great! The lead (Issac Slade) sang it with soul and power, his voice sounded really honest in

delivering the song. The lyrics and melody are a match made in heaven and people will feel deeply touched by the

sound and arrangement. Got to check this out! Personally, it touched me as my lovely gal dedicated this song to us.

GIVE me

im wasting my time doing nothing.

GIVE me a challenge that'd suit!

GIVE me something that'd I can work on!

GIVE me meaning of life so I can appreciate more and more!

GIVE me what you have gave others.

seriously, Im in need of a challenge, or else I'll just goof of and do nothing. and the bad part about it is that I'll be bitter about it.

So c'mon, if anybody asks me to do something interesting, give me a ring, and maybe I'll consider taking on that challenge!